Dad, I miss you
At certain times we are reminded about the purpose of other people in our
lives. The supposed hero to most of us is our dad. That is the way it belongs.
While you are still young he can do ANYTHING, knows the answers to ALL
questions and can handle ANY situation. Also, he is bigger than all other dad's
(if movies are to be believed...)
There are several stages to our relationship to Dad. While you are a baby, a toddler, Primary school, being a teen, being a young adult and then when you are an adult. To my mind the best few stages are the toddler, primary school and adult stages. If the others are not nice, it’s mostly because of us, the children...
Unfortunately I am not quite qualified to talk about this as my Dad passed away when I was only 5 years old, 6 days before my 6th birthday. At the time (maybe because I was this young) I didn't understand the complete impact thereof. I was sad (have photos to prove that) but could never realise what it would mean to me in the long run.
Every child, not only sons, deserve to have a Dad, a father figure, in their lives. This ensures that physical as well as emotional needs are reacted on and build upon for the future if there is a need to adjust. This helps you in becoming who you are supposed to be and to fulfil your potential.
In my life, since my dads death on 6 February 1988, things changed faster than I thought. My mom remarried after that and we suddenly had a stepbrother and sister. By the way, I had 5 brothers before this wedding. The lifestyle adjustment, new school and actually living in a town were major adjustments, but all filled with a degree of fun.
I could potentially have a father figure, someone to look up to again. This, however, did not turn out to be the case. Within a few years the picture in our house changed significantly. Weeks of silence, actual violence, people ignoring each other or arguments filled with hate. My mom tried her utmost, but could never be a father as well. That is impossible. At one stage I was actually molested by my step-brother. Things weren't the way they belonged...
By the time that I reached high school I needed to change my life around. I have given my life to the Lord and was ready to change the world. I made some new friends, some of them I still have to this day. Sport dictated my life and kept me out of trouble.
Where it all went wrong is when there was no father figure in my life to look up to. This was also the case for my brothers. My mom was great, and did everything for me that I could ever ask for. She was Superwoman, my inspiration. BUT she could never be a dad. My stepfather could not fill the void, there was never that bond.
As a result I looked up to certain teachers. Some of them would spend a lot of time assisting me in sport, even just talking to me. They showed special interest in me as a human being, which gave me a drive in life. Later in life, a while before I got married, my father-in-law became a figurehead, actually more like a father to me. He would give wise words, just sit there and be with me, and discuss things that I might like. He gave me the attention that a dad would give his son.
Why am I bubbling about all of this? Well, it is simple: Each of us needs someone to guide us as a father. Someone to motivate, listen, teach and just be there for us. Read the story of Timothy and realise how Paul was a "father" to him. Be this spiritual father to someone, or find a spiritual father to guide you, but do not try to live alone... Thank your dad for everything he has done for you, forgive him for what he has done wrong. Restore the relationship. If you dad passed away, remember the good times and his good qualities. And most of all: Have a functioning relationship with your heavenly father.
There are several stages to our relationship to Dad. While you are a baby, a toddler, Primary school, being a teen, being a young adult and then when you are an adult. To my mind the best few stages are the toddler, primary school and adult stages. If the others are not nice, it’s mostly because of us, the children...
Unfortunately I am not quite qualified to talk about this as my Dad passed away when I was only 5 years old, 6 days before my 6th birthday. At the time (maybe because I was this young) I didn't understand the complete impact thereof. I was sad (have photos to prove that) but could never realise what it would mean to me in the long run.
Every child, not only sons, deserve to have a Dad, a father figure, in their lives. This ensures that physical as well as emotional needs are reacted on and build upon for the future if there is a need to adjust. This helps you in becoming who you are supposed to be and to fulfil your potential.
In my life, since my dads death on 6 February 1988, things changed faster than I thought. My mom remarried after that and we suddenly had a stepbrother and sister. By the way, I had 5 brothers before this wedding. The lifestyle adjustment, new school and actually living in a town were major adjustments, but all filled with a degree of fun.
I could potentially have a father figure, someone to look up to again. This, however, did not turn out to be the case. Within a few years the picture in our house changed significantly. Weeks of silence, actual violence, people ignoring each other or arguments filled with hate. My mom tried her utmost, but could never be a father as well. That is impossible. At one stage I was actually molested by my step-brother. Things weren't the way they belonged...
By the time that I reached high school I needed to change my life around. I have given my life to the Lord and was ready to change the world. I made some new friends, some of them I still have to this day. Sport dictated my life and kept me out of trouble.
Where it all went wrong is when there was no father figure in my life to look up to. This was also the case for my brothers. My mom was great, and did everything for me that I could ever ask for. She was Superwoman, my inspiration. BUT she could never be a dad. My stepfather could not fill the void, there was never that bond.
As a result I looked up to certain teachers. Some of them would spend a lot of time assisting me in sport, even just talking to me. They showed special interest in me as a human being, which gave me a drive in life. Later in life, a while before I got married, my father-in-law became a figurehead, actually more like a father to me. He would give wise words, just sit there and be with me, and discuss things that I might like. He gave me the attention that a dad would give his son.
Why am I bubbling about all of this? Well, it is simple: Each of us needs someone to guide us as a father. Someone to motivate, listen, teach and just be there for us. Read the story of Timothy and realise how Paul was a "father" to him. Be this spiritual father to someone, or find a spiritual father to guide you, but do not try to live alone... Thank your dad for everything he has done for you, forgive him for what he has done wrong. Restore the relationship. If you dad passed away, remember the good times and his good qualities. And most of all: Have a functioning relationship with your heavenly father.
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